My favorite way to lie: Makeup.
Seriously. The world cannot handle me without it. Eye circles, blemishes... The the whole shebang. It's scary. **shudders** I need to issue a public apology to people I run into at the grocery store.
My second favorite lie: Haircolor.
I cannot go around looking like the Bride of Frankenstein with my "wisdom highlights" that seem to have taken over my head. I know people are all about scary stuff these days. Look at how many horror movies there are. But it's a whole new breed of scary when you shriek as you look in the mirror due to a serious WTH moment. People freaking you out: ok.
Freaking yourself out due to OMG hair: not allowed.
I think I need to compose an open letter to the gray hair factory, because if you HAVE to have them, can't they at least match the rest of your hair? What is with the straight hair and the corkscrew grays?! No matchy, not good.
Another fave lie: Push up bras.
Back before the motherhood gods smiled upon me, the only chance of busty I had was to stand in front of the freezer for a bit. A bit of removable boobage was the only thing keeping me from looking like Justin Bieber. When I first married, JD was like, "That is such a gyp!" Thank you, dear. Is it my fault that when the order for me was placed that the plumpness was added doubly to the backend? Um, no. Double order of butt was not really what I ordered. So what if my boobs would hang on the doorknob when the day was over? I could at least strap those puppies on in the morning. The likelihood of them hitting my knees when I was 35 was minimal, and you have the option of various colors. And no back aches, not a bad deal. It took me 25 years to finally get boobs. Another reason, aside from tax season, that I love my kids.
So are you a liar, too? If you say no, I know that's a lie.
What are some of your favorite personal lies?