Tuesday, March 30, 2010

JD Update


We went back to the doc yesterday. Aside from literally being run off the road and put into the ditch going 60 mph on 287 (Yes, thank you, Guy with Handicapped Plates from Indiana. You know who you are. I also know your trailer tag.) things went pretty well.

JD's blood pressure was still a tad high, but nothing like it was Thursday (190/118). It was 140/70-something. And that was after the whole off-road incident. He's going to get a colonoscopy done in a few weeks since colon cancer runs in his family. So, that's good.

Yes, dear, I did indeed talk about your colon on the Internet.

That's a picture of him this weekend on the front porch. Ain't he handsome! 10 years and he still makes my heart pitty-pat. *drooly sighs*

His latest obsession is glass knapping. He makes glass arrowheads and knife blades. We're considering opening an Etsy shop for some of the various things we do. Don't worry... mainly him, my stuff is a little too scary for Etsy. Need more practice.

Here are some of his latest do0 dads.

This is a knife he made for #1. It's dulled up for safety reasons. #1 could hurt himself with a marshmallow. He's inherited my awesomeness. God bless him.


This is the head of the spear he made for #2. Because everyone knows that 7 year olds just cannot have a normal childhood without a glass-tipped spear! I mean, duh! That's also the deer-hide he tanned that was shot this year.


This is a knife constructed out of glass and a deer shed (antler) I found while trekking about in the yard. I love the S-shape. And the design of the backerboard is Native American. Not sure which tribe because when asked what I thought about the design and I replied, "It looks like a quilt square," he for some reason quit talking to me. I mean, I guess Indians could have quilted if they wanted to.


Here's a tiny hatchet and another arrowhead.

Is it just me, or does the arrowhead make you want to say "Captain's Log, Stardate 3583. We currently have 5 people aboard the Enterprise due to intense sibling rivalry."


Maybe it's just me.



And last, but not least, here's the pipe he carved on one day while bored. I took probably 10 pictures of it in different lighting, different applications on my camera and none of them did the pipe justice. It's gorgeous. Just gorgeous.

So what do you think? Do you think these things are Etsy worthy? Would people be interested in things like this?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thank you, Lord, for the shingles.

WHY weren't we informed of how much trouble it was going to be to be a grownup?

I feel so gypped. So uninformed. Kind of like finding out the streaking party you were going to turned out to be a rumor and you just showed up in Grand Central Station in the buff with thousands of people whispering, "It's okay, it's just a mental patient. They'll come get her in a minute. Avert your eyes, children."

I think if we were told the truth about the world that adults live in, everyone would run away to Neverneverland and all the grownups and hopes of procreation and the carrying on the human race would be shot.

I mean, oh my George! Doesn't swashbuckling Cap'n James Hook, dancing in fairy-infested woods, and swimming with mermaids sound a lot more fun than facing foreclosures, trying to figure out how to feed and clothe 5 kids on a microscopic income, and deal with bills and medical expenses.

Well, technically, the examples given above aren't my personal ones. I know there are people out there dealing with those exact issues and I pray the Lord sees them through and they can feel His presence in the midst of it.

Ours are currently:

The Job situation

JD has shingles

Oh, and just for fun, the icing on the adult cake: JD also has stroke-level blood pressure. And is now on meds. He's 36 years old, not obese, and walks miles everyday. Please tell me the sense that makes.

Where was the warning that only kids are invincible?

That grown ups are old fogies that fall apart in their 30s, possibly 20s.

I didn't get that memo.

So, back to the doc we go in the morning for tests. Blood Pressure, Cholesterol, and Diabetes.

Please pray that he doesn't have any more trouble. Especially the diabetes. I think that would really not be good on him mentally.

I know the Lord is watching out for us. If JD hadn't gotten the shingles, we wouldn't have known about the high blood pressure. I mean, who in their right mind --besides me-- would be saying "Thank you, Lord, for the shingles." "Shingles, the blessing in disguise."

But really, Thank you, Lord, for the shingles.

And tell me that this isn't just a tad too coincidental... Our nurse was 35, she had suffered a heart attack AND a stroke at age 32 WHILE being on chemo, for ignoring her high blood pressure. If that wasn't a whole God-laid out plan there, I don't know what is. And she knew exactly what to say to a man to talk him into taking medication and seeking further treatment to right this situation.

Thursday held bad news, scary news, all wrapped up into a completely Divine laid out plan that is a treatable condition. Thank you, Lord, for shingles.

I mean, he could have stroked out on me! We wouldn't have known about that and he could have keeled over on me! I told him, "You're taking that medication. I have just invested 10 years in you, and the only way you're going to die is by me killing you. No way, Jose." I am usually submissive, but to die from an acute case of Donkey-itis? Stew-pid. Ain't happenin' on my watch.

And as if this wasn't enough to permanently attach the eyebrows to the nape of the neck, he was summoned for jury duty MONDAY and we had completely forgotten about it. He did get them called and had his summons post-poned.

Please, gals, fellow-wives, sista-friends, make sure the hubby/man in your life gets checked out often. Don't have his stubbornness and manly invincibility stick him in a medical situation that could be fatal or put him in a vegetative state.

Thank you, Lord, for the shingles.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

100th Post!!


Can you believe it?

I've already posted 100 dorky things?!

I can't!

So, in honor of my 100th post, I'm going to make a list of Valuable Lessons Learned in my life to pass on. These are in no particular order.

1. Sometimes you just can't learn anything by watching. You must do/experience absolute stupidity to learn a darn thing. Hel-lo! Story of my life!!!

2. That you can't ever predict what your kids are going to do. (i.e. pull out their privates in the church sanctuary during the sermon, poop in the floor and blame it on the older brother when it's OBVIOUS the denier did it, tell their mom you're running away, open up their bedroom window that's 4' off the ground, climb out, and run back to the front door before Mom notices (yeah, the "before Mom notices" part didn't quite pan out.).

3. Safety pins do not a wise navel-piercing make.


4.
Nor do a great homemade tattoo do they do. **Go back and read #1 again!**


5.
That I, contrary to my teen-aged belief, did NOT know everything and every adult was NOT moronic.

6.
That the Lord knew exactly what he was up to when he gave me the life and experiences I have.


7
. That He's always there listening, no matter how childish, mad, or stupid I get.


8.
That I definitely married the right man. He puts up with my insanity very, very well.


9.
That friends (even if they're all the way around the world into tomorrow!) are a necessity and you can never have too many of them.


10
. And that it's A-OK to be me. It took me a long time to come to terms with myself, always wondering why God made me like me and not someone else.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Date Night -- The Report

Well, get this... we went on a date!

And the world didn't even end!

I am shocked!

It was very nice.

We had Nana (JD's mom) come over and sit on the babies. She arrived at 4:30.


I was under strict orders to not plan anything else after childcare.

Thank you, amen.

So we headed out, headed into the Big City for our night out.

I have had a huge craving for Asian food, so he had chosen 2 restaurants:

Hunan (Chinese Buffet -- Be still my beating heart! Sweet and Sour Chicken, I love you like you were my own child!)

Or

Samurai Of Tokyo (Japanese Hibachi -Man with a hat like a trashcan on his head, tossing spatulas making chop suey out of everything on a honkin' griddle that I need to have.)


We went to Samurai.

It was really nice.

There were some things we didn't like about it:

1. Being seated in a large group instead of in a private table. Not conducive for making cows eyes at one another or whispering sweet nothings to your lovey.

2. Having our sodium intake for the entire year in one sitting.

3. I really wanted a stinking milkshake! (And I forgot about it! LOL!)

We're kind of out of practice on this dating thing, so the faux pas are easily looked over.

"Please, Sir, do tell us more of this new-fangled thing called "dating.""

Then, after I ate enough that I seriously thought they might have to roll me out like Violet Beauregard,
we walked (he walked, I waddled like a 45 month pregnant woman) back to the car and headed over to the Book/Music/Movie store. My bladder was completely at capacity and was begging to be emptied. So, as soon as I got there, I took care of business.

While perusing the kiddie book section looking for the walk-space into the music section (which, unbeknownst to me, they had closed in.)I got a phone call.

The dreaded DATE phone call that means it's the baby sitter and either

a) the house has burned down

b) a band of rampant serial killers has showed up and taken my family hostage and this is the ransom call

c) all of my kids have fallen down the stairs we don't have and broken all their bones

d) someone's puking and someone's hanging by their toenails from the chandelier

As I answered it and held my breath, it was my brother, T-Dawg. He was asking where we were.
I told him we were on our date and we were at Hastings prowling. As I turned a corner, someone grabbed me.


It was all I could do not to scream.

It was T-Dawg. He and Shoe-Anne had seen our newly washed mobile in the parking lot.

We talked to them about 5 or 10 minutes, the guys about guy stuff, us gals, about the wedding stuff. We parted ways and JD and I meandered over to the movies, snatched a few, checked out and headed on our merry way back to the Ponderosa.

We got home and relieved Nana around 9.


It was a nice date. The kids were fed. We tucked them in and proceeded to talk and goof around until an unholy 5 am.... which is not conducive to having to work the next day. BUT we're not your average married couple and we laugh in the face of reason.

During this multi-hour visitation I learned that pod people have indeed taken my original husband. My husband would never say these things:

"I'm sorry that I didn't know you unhappy with things before you got so upset the other night."
** um... I really freaked out the other night, real "Danger Will Robinson!" freaking out with the woman tears and the hormonal bellowing and wavy hand gestures.**

"I really like your haircut. You look really pretty."


"We should probably try to have some time to ourselves once a month or something."

"I'm sorry I made you feel unappreciated."


Pod People, what would it take for you to leave this new husband here? I will do what ever you ask.

Date night was a really great night. I am hoping my new Pod Person husband will go with me again soon!

Oh, and before I forget, the picture!
Here's zee new hair!

It's really red, but you can't really tell.
I lurve it. Makes me feel all sassy, sexy, and younger. It's so much like the old me, the dating JD me, you just can't believe it.



And here's the date garb! JD took this picture and said I was making a goofy face, but it shows the outfit, the CHOSEN outfit better. Evidently, men do not think legs and/or shoes belong in a picture. And, yes, I cheated and took my glasses off.


THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING MY OUTFIT AND BEING A PART OF OUR SPECIAL DAY!!!!

Five Question Friday


I'm linking up with Becoming Briggs for 5QF!



1. 1. Have you ever had a celeb sighting?

Actually, yes, I have! And of course, knowing me and my pal, Awesomeness that I take everywhere, it is less than normal. I have actually seen Julia Roberts. No... wait... let me clarify that... I have actually skied over Julia Roberts snow skis in the process of slamming into a hay bale, babbled like an idiot, watched her ski away, looked at the lady beside me, watched her gape like a fish, COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS to who I had just been blathering on at, until the lady beside me said "I can't believe I was skiing with Julia Roberts!" Yay. Me and Awesomeness, we do the most amazing things sometimes. And she was with Benjamin Bratt, too. I saw him ski down the hill. She was actually heading to catch him before some rogue hillbilly slid across the backs of her skis into a hay bale.

She was very nice. And I knew she had a nice smile.

*points to self* With it, man, with it.

2. What temperature do you keep your house?

We keep it around 70 year round. We did live in a very poorly insulated house for 6 years where with all the heaters on full blast and the fireplace lit, you could still see your breath in the living room. Not going back there. But before you think I'm all extravagant, our house is metal, and the walls are a foot thick. The R factor of our house is around an R 50, which means it stays toasty warm. We did an experiment in the winter and cut off the heat for a day or two to see how cold it would get inside. This was with snow on the ground and wind gusting from the north. It never got below 63 inside. I♥insulation.

3. Do you notice dust at other peoples homes?

I do. But not as a judgmental thing. It's more like "Oh, Thank GOD they have dust, too!"

4. What's the worst job you ever had?

Well... it wasn't gross or anything, I was just really, really bad at it.

Job: Plowing a field in the John Deere

Age: 15

Employer: Dad

How many times did the field have to be replowed before he gave up on me and gave the job to my younger brother: 5

I couldn't get the plow to dig in deep enough.
And I learned a very important lesson: Do not turn the tractor sharply or the plow will feel compelled to come into the cab with you and say "hi!"


5. What is your most sentimental possession?


I have thought and thought about this one and I am having a hard time picking just one.

It could be the keepsakes from my kids and my own childhood (a special shirt, the Pooh bear JD bought #1 before he was born, the pearl snap my Dad picked out for #3, the denim vest made by now Heaven resident, Granny Amelia for #2, my own first toy)

It could be the red poodle skirt my Memaw made me to wear in 2nd grade. I had a red scarf bow on my head that was nearly as big as I was. And in the picture, I have a perm.

It could be the handmade quilts my Hawhorn made while watching Montel.

It could be my Granny's wedding rings given to her on her wedding day by my Pawpaw. The paper thin bands attest of how long she wore them with him in her heart.

It could also be the leather keychain advertising some sort of bovine meds that my Pawpaw gave me when I was 2 the day that he died with a hand written note from my Mother telling me about what went on that day.

There are a lot of things. I can't just choose one.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Quick Few Things

Okay... first off, tonight is Date Night!

*the whole world cheers with me*

Yes-sir-ree Bob! We are goin' on the town.

And The Dressing Blogger Babs chosen outfit (oooh... that makes me feel all special. I get to wear the CHOSEN outfit.) is still #2.
The stars are in alignment, the sun in shining, I've been watching a cow trying to calve this morning out of my kitchen window, and most importantly, the wind is NOT blowing... much. SO the skirt is in order. Unless the weather changes this afternoon, and believe me, Texas weather and March, it COULD and probably WILL happen. If it happens, I shall wear brown capris instead.

Second, I think they caught the thieves yesterday! Yaaay!
They, sadly, were a bunch of teenage boys. They had pretty much been ransacking 3 counties. I said "I think" they caught them because their vehicle didn't match the one that I had seen. So, unless there are more (a possibility), we're good. And, don't you think I'm leaving my house empty tonight, there are going to be people here.

Thirdly, I have been transformed.

I awoke to a question from JD yesterday morning that proved, yes, indeed, the Pod People from Invasion of the Body Snatchers had taken my husband.

He asked "Why don't you go get your hair done today? I'll give you some cash, and you go get it done."

Wha?!?! Who the heck are you, buddy, and why are you in my bed?

I stared blankly at him as if he had 3 heads.

And asked "What do you mean by "done"?"

"Well, go get it cut like you like it, and color it red again. I know you've been wanting to. See if it makes you feel prettier."

I kept staring and almost said "You done lost yo mind!"

But then my inner-self, the former red-head that's been begging for release upon the world again pulled my mousey-brown hair and said "Do it! DOOOO IT! Release me! Unleash redheadedness upon the world once more!" God made me brunette with auburn highlights, but inside, I have a redhead spirit.

So, I said "OK!"

I mean, hey, you don't hand the dog a bone and wait for it to turn it down. Unless you're a complete Hee-Haw.

I took my bone and buddy, I ran with it.

So, now the inner red-head has been unleashed after her 5 year exile.

Look out, world.

AND before the transformation happened, I had a job interview.

Well, actually I went to fill out an application, but I GOT a job interview by sitting there and inadvertently asking questions until I was actually interviewed.

Gee, Alisha, assertive much?

I shall let you know how it goes as I get more news. Oooh, the mystery.

I'll give you a hint, though:

Confucius says "He who cooks beans and peas in same pot is unsanitary.
" (Say it out loud) And my Mommy told me that. I make her so proud. :)

These would be important things to remember in my possible new job.


Have a Happy Thursday!

I shall post more information about our date (possibly pics IF I can remember to take my camera... oh, the romance! "Honey, let me take a picture of you eating. It's for my blog. Everyone wants to see your molars.").

Thank God for all the Blessings... and red hair. :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

And Now For Something Completely Different....

Okay... last year I was talking about putting some music on here.

My music.

SO...

Here's my first video of a parody I wrote of Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours."

And if you don't like it, I blame Carrie.

She made me do it.

And forgive my crazy, rolling eyes. I don't know what was going on there other than nerves.

I bet you didn't know a little 2 1/2" X 4" camera was scary.

It is.

Okay... Here's "I'm Poor." By Me.
Lyrics are posted on the vimeo page if you need them.

Enjoy!



I'm Poor - Jason Mraz Parody from Alisha J on Vimeo.

This Bodes Well...

Okay... since I've been up this morning:

JD has had to leave for work early

Boo! Hiss!

My dogs (sans weener dog) have been prowling in the pasture -- no doubt rolling in unmentionable ick

I have eaten 2 chocolate chip cookies and 1/2 of the most amazing chocolate bar (Ritter Sport Butter Biscuit) ever made in the world, period (Thank you, Secret Mom!)
Breakfast of Champions!
I have consumed 4 cups of coffee
(Don't worry, it doesn't make me jittery. That's just what Vaults do.)
#1 woke up and realized he hadn't slept with his retainer in *facepalm* Yay for spending $1000 on straight teeth! He DID find it though, glory hallelujah!
$100 saved!

And its TGIF on Tuesday! YAY! This is JD's Friday.

A joke heard this morning, care of #1

"What do you call a butterfly with no clothes on?"

"A naked butterfly! Is that a good one?"


Oh, My Lanta...I REALLY have to get that kid some joke books.

*plucks volcano books out of #1's hands in exchange for joke books*

"Forget education, son! Please, learn the art of humor."

Monday, March 15, 2010

Monday, Monday

Quick job-related update...

Well, in all honesty, it does look like all of the hospital jobs are down the tubes. All 11 of them.
And some other things cropped up about it that rather dulled their shine.Such as having to contract out with that hospital for 10 years before you've done your sentence... er... fulfilled your time **smiles innocently** for their paying for your schooling.
Um... yeah, 10 years. Not cool.
And my applications are dropping like leaves in the fall. In a tornado. On the outskirts of a hurricane.
But, it's okay. God has plans. And seeing as it would severely hinder us if JD was called to preach somewhere, and I would be contracted out for a decade, it would not work.
I do have another opportunity which is a little more interesting, but I'm not going to say anything else until I have more news. I don't wanna jinx it, you know :) But it's good. And right up my alley.We made a volcano today for school. It was the grossest color. Like baby-poop yellow green or a slightly tanned jaundiced person. I tried to make brown very unsuccessfully. I don't the volcano erupted, I think it threw up when it looked in the mirror.
There was much burping going on today. I did *NOT* participate.Well.. okay... I didn't start it!
And that's the truth.
And 2 things over heard in the house today....

None said by Mom....
"Stop digging in Mom's crack, for Heaven's sake!"

"Bananas in the hoooooooole!"
(Thank you, Horton Hears A Who for that last one.)

None of this was even said in the same hour.
And the crack isn't what you'd think... #2 was putting something in my back pocket and #3 yelled that out. Thank God we were at home.
Please work, call! Before people think we're weirder than we are!

Oh and since it's been a while, here are some more gratuitous dog shots.
Girl

We wound up keeping 2 puppies. I know, I know.... softies. We kept the girl (Girl). And we also kept a boy (Beast). Lol... he is such a gangly thing. And dorky. But he's a sweetie, too, and growls at things at night, which with the break-ins around, I like.Beast

I don't know which is harder, taking pictures of kids or puppies. Sorry they're so both blurry.


Here's Ocho. That little blue piece in front of her is what's left of her ball. She chewed it up. She's begging me to throw it. Stinker.



Can't leave out the diva.

She's irritated with the paparazzi here.

Oh and #1 got his braces off a couple of weeks ago. He wanted to show you.

What's Your Reaction to This Video?

Okay... I've seen this video a few times now... okay... probably 15 times.

Can I help it if the tune is catchy and makes me want to dance around?

The first thoughts in my head as I watch this:

1) Ooooh this is right up #1's alley!

2) That is a LOT of stuff and a LOT of thought put in there!

3) Oh my goodness I bet their Mom is gonna be mad!

4) I hope my kids never do anything like this.

5) I hope my kids DO do something like this.

6) I hope I don't have to pick it up when they do this.

7) That is still really cool.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

The Story From #3

New Topic on the Blog: The Story From #3.


Just Reported
:

**enters the room** "When I was in your tummy--breath-- 'n I busted out--breath--'n you held me--breath--I took some baby pills--breath--and then I grewed up." **he leaves**

He didn't get the succinctness from me.

And what baby pills are, I have no clue.

Maybe I should be worried.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Count Your Blessings And Be Glad God Is More Aware Than We Are

Well, since it's late, JD has to work late (i.e. til 3 AM -- Thank you, Prison, we love you muchly), and I am kinda punchy from the sleepiness, I thought I'd post about some of the crazy goings ons in my area and how the Lord has once again, saved my crazy, naive backside from impending danger.

There are break ins in my community.

Yes.

A handful of houses and thieves are sneaking in and messing up people's lives.

Thank you, jerks.

And are the residents of said tiny community being warned by their faithful law enforcement officers?
Eh... no. Thank you, Sheriff. 'Preciate the care, there, fella.
So, who else to inform the poor souls of the handful of houses of their possible impending doom of the leaving of their belongings by strange hands?
The lone person who has seen the vehicle?
Me.

Yes, me.
How did I, the miraculous embodiment of sleuthness, actually SEE said vehicle full of bad men?
Because about 3-3:30 in the afternoon, I heard them PULLING IN MY DRIVE WAY!

The gall!


The nerve!


The chutzpah!The gonads!


Yes, coming up to my house!


You would have to see just how far I live from a main road for this to make your jaw drop.

I live 2 miles off the highway.

Then, about 3/4 of a mile up a dirt-road driveway guarded by a rather menacing looking
electronic gate. Yes, the electronics have petered out, but it's chained shut. And menacing. Don't forget the menacing part.

So, then about another quarter mile up my personal driveway.

Oh, the gonads this took. These guys must clink when they walk from the brass knocking together.

So, me and my amazing geniusness hear the vehicle, obviously a large truck by the sound. And what do we --me and the amazingness-- do? We tell the kids to stay in the house and go to check out who is heading up here.

My parents also live on this place and I assume (And you know what happens when you assume...) they are having a delivery. This is a large, low-cabbed, white, Japanese delivery truck with a train container emblazoned with a raging orange Yang Ming on the sides. I am thinking Dad is getting something large. He has been known to order large things, either quantity or sheer size. So, this isn't abnormal.


So, I head out the door, hand in hand with my amazingness, you know, fling a hand of magical dog command to all 4 canines and they magically all hit the down position and stay! (You have no idea how miraculous THAT in and of itself is!)
I walk down the driveway to the truck because something of that size cannot come up to my house and turn around. No way, Jose. It ain't happenin'. So, we -- me and my friend, Amazingness-- go to tell this crazy person so. You too big. No turn around up here. No work. Scat.

I get about 30 ft. from the truck and we have us a moment there.
It's like a Spaghetti Western. All that's missing is the Clint Eastwood music and blowing tumbleweeds.

"You feel lucky..... Punk?"
Yeah, yeah, wrong movie, I know. I couldn't resist a little Dirty Harry, though.

We stand there looking at each other for about a minute. Nothing. Then, the truck backs into the pasture, and commences to haul in super mode back down the driveway at approximately 50 mph. There is a dust cloud so large, the likes of it have never been seen on this driveway ever.

I think "Huh!" And begin the journey back to the house. Canines are still in Down/Stay mode. I brush my nails on my coat and think "You... are tha woman! Look at those dogs sitting there, waiting, panting "Mistress, we stayed, we love you, oh powerful mistress!" Then, it dawns on me... THAT'S why they left. They saw my amazing power with the dogs and there I was, coming RIGHT at them! They didn't want any of my doggie voodoo directed at them! Smart guys. "Y'all get own outta he-yah!"
I yadda yadda around the house a couple of hours, thinking about how odd it was how they left like their hair was on fire and why didn't they ask where to put the delivery. And how if they were professionals, it was really UNprofessional to not have their trailer painted appropriately.
So, I call my mom and ask her "So, what were you having delivered?" This turns into a complete replay of the events of my amazing dog powers and everything.

She says "Well, tell your Dad." Hands the phone to him, I tell again.

He answers "I don't like that, I'm calling the Deputy."
Yes, folks, we have a Deputy.

He isn't Barney Fife, but, heck, I think ol' Barn's on the ball more than our guy.

Deputy tells Dad "Oh, yeah, there've been a lot of break-ins in your area lately." *he probably spat into a spittoon after he answered my Dad*

OH! Thanks for telling us! I am so wanting to donate to you now!

So, this all happens about 3 weeks ago. I'm talking to my Mom Saturday and she tells me "Hey, your information about that truck is pretty valuable. They think you're the only one who has seen the vehicle."

Whoa!

This is the succession of thoughts in my mind immediately after hearing these words:

"Hahahaha! Wow!"

"Are you serious?!"

"Ooooh, I wonder if there's a reward..."

"Holy crap balls! I just walked toward a truck load of thieves and stood there like a Mexican Standoff! They were probably discussing whether or not to waste me in my own dang front yard!!" **Mentally hyperventilates**"

Yes, Alisha had to take valerian root that night to wind down. That ain't fun. It's like taking 3 capsules of powdered poop. Smells wretched. Ugh.

See, aren't you glad that God looks out for us even when we aren't aware of the situation?
I walked out to a vehicle, completely oblivious to any possible danger -- and seriously, would you think you're in danger 20 miles from town and in the dead middle of the day, heck NO!--and Lord knows what could have happened!!!

I am so glad to have a God that cares about me and takes care of me even when I'm blind to the danger!

They're still at large.

I called all the neighbors and described the vehicle to them. Everyone deserves a warning. ***taps microphone*** Is this thing on? Are you LISTENING, Sheriff's office?!

There was another break in a few miles away two days ago. These guys need to be stopped.

And, since you're so curious... I know what I'll do with the money if there is a reward.

I'm going on a date!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Date Night Update

Well, prepare to be "da-mazed," as #2 used to announce quiet frequently.

Date night....

Didn't happen.

*gameshow loser buzzer*

Yes, a little thing called "the very un-beefy, supa-lean bank account syndrome."

SO... seeing that the man forgot to pick up his check, the bills were glowing in the dark since their due dates were like a day away, bills came before romance.

And the date shall be postponed to next week.

AND.... the winning outfit is.....


#2!

I will be wearing outfit #2.

I will pray that the wind doesn't blow.

I will try to whip up some rumpus pants *aka ruffly panties that baby girls wear* that match, just in case the wind doesn't behave.


Monday, March 8, 2010

Dress Me Date Barbie

Okay... it's one of those times again.

One of those times I need my fabulous followers' help.

You remember that secret I told you a while back...

You know the one that's just shameful.

The horrific one.

The one that makes people wonder why I still have friends?


That I'm *whispers* Fashion Challenged?


Yeah.


Well, since I have trouble, I'm gonna let you people pick my outfit... er... out for the big date night. Honestly, I did cut a couple of others because, well, they lacked ... everything. 'Twas bad, friends.... baaad.


Without further ado... Help dress Blogger Babs. (Barbie would commit suicide if I compared
myself to her. And I really don't want to be sued right now.)

Outfit #1
*Using Jedi Mind Trick* You did not notice that my sheets do not match my comforter.

Outfit #2
I will probably add a brown cardigan to that.
I really ♥ that skirt.
Not on windy days, though.

Outfit #3
*Note to self (and the other voices if they're listening): Don't stand on pants while setting up amazing fashionista clothing shoot.*
And Outfit #4

*Another Note To Self: Don't take pictures while standing on the bed and then nearly fall off said bed and totally post the picture without the shoes. *facepalms**

OK, that one has the same shoes as Outfit #1.
Now I'm going to plead.
Pleeeeeeeeeze help me pick this out.
Here's me begging.


This is pleading... painful, blubbering, pleading.
Not to be confused with gas.

Or lip-synching Celine Dion songs.

That's this.

Note the passion in the white knuckles. That's how you tell the difference.

This is what you look like when you look at those pictures in your camera.

And yes, snorting happened.
I'm kind of like Sandra Bullock with the snorting laughter. Woot, to her, by the way!


To my friends across the Pond, I'm afraid to say, yes, I really am this dorky.

So, do fill up my comments with your choices and I shall let you know which one wins.





Sunday, March 7, 2010

Church Sign Sunday

"An obstacle is something you see when you take your eyes off the goal."

Isn't THAT the truth!


Saturday, March 6, 2010

Blah-g

That's just kind of how it is over here today.

Blah.

So, blogging while blah makes it blah-gging.

JD and I had our 10th anniversary last Tuesday.

Notice the phrasing was "had" instead of "celebrated."

Yeah, we haven't celebrated yet.

He threw his back out and didn't feel like going, then, childcare was non-existent, then, finally we had a volunteer for babysitting, then, he didn't want to go because he didn't think he could stand sitting in the car to get to the "eatin' joint." That's how my dad talks.

Then...

I cried.

And...

he was surprised that I cried.

"I didn't know it was that important to you."

*makes the Have You Lost Your Mind face*

No, we've only been married 10 years, we never go out, I've only been announcing "I can't wait til our anniversary!!!!" for about 3 months now, and the fact that in these 10 years we haven't EVER done anything at all to commemorate it other than our honeymoon 10 years ago....

No. I'm not upset.

Men.

And I'm surrounded by them!

I stand no chance.

I will teach my sons very important lessons:

"You will take your wife out on dates if you know what's good for you."

"You will give your wife flowers on Valentine's Day, if I have to tattoo a reminder on your arm."

"You will spontaneously surprise her with things you have thought of because she's so busy planning out everyone's day for them that you will help her out and have a creative thought every once in a while."

And maybe how to read, write, spell, and enough math skills to keep them in the black.

I love JD. I just want to go out some place, dress up, flirt with him, and remember WHY we did this in the first place. And to celebrate 10 years of togetherness. That's what I want. And maybe slightly do a happy dance that we have made it 10 years when a lot of folks we know haven't.

He is taking me, and he has been informed of this... believe me, he has.... out for dinner next Tuesday.

Kidwatchman procured.

Date night selected.

Wardrobe debatable.

Date night will happen.

I'll let you know how it goes.

It usually goes something like this:

  • Drive 50 miles to town
  • Talk without interruptions about anything pertaining to Legos
  • Find the least crowded restaurant
  • Enjoy eating something someone else cooked for a change
  • Sit, order, eat waaaay too much
  • Hit up Walmart or Hastings
  • I look at the books for too long and drive JD crazy
  • Complain all the way home about eating too much.
One time we went out he actually told me "I forgot how funny you are!"

*snorts* Yeah, well, if you read my blog, babe, you wouldn't!

So, we're having countdown to date night. I'm really excited about it. :D



Still haven't heard anything pertinent from the hospital.

Or the Post Office.

Or anything job related at all.

I did print off the FAFSA forms so I can get some financial aid if I wind up going to school in August.

But we're just waiting. We do have more hope than we had a few weeks ago.

I hate how time just takes... well, time... when you're waiting. That's the hard part. I could deal with it if they just said "No, you're unqualified. Stop applying, you dunce!" I could move on! But waitinggggggg....
Makes me want to yank on my eyelids like Stitch.

At least we have hope.

Hope in the name of the Lord.
Strength in the name of the Lord.

Which is a lot more than some people have.

So, I'll take it. :)

Have a happy weekend.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Thank You and More


First off, I'd like to thank Amy Bayliss for having way-cool giveaways on the Giveaways Galore part of her blog.

And I'd also like to thank A Virtuous Woman for their wonderful ministry. And for hooking up with Amy to giveaway various items, especially the Momma's Saving Grace Homeschool Planner. .. Which I won!

And I'd like to thank me for winning.

Uh... did I really say that out loud? Let's pretend not.

Moving on...

Still waiting to hear more permanent news from the hospital.

I did get 3 "we're considering other candidates at this time" emails.
*losing game show sound effect: wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaah*


Which stunk.

And kind of popped my balloon for a bit.

BUT


I will remain staunchly Baptist in all of this and

I Will Not Be Moved.

So, I shall remain here, ear to the ground, just like any good job tracker, or tracker of any sort, does.

If I don't hear any good news, and get all turn downs, I will be going to LVN school in the fall.

And, knowing me like some of you have to do in real life (*whispers* I'm sorry) I didn't do any of the applying half-way.... I only applied to 11 positions.

Yes, I added another one.


I'm kind of serious about this, if you couldn't tell.

Hopefully, we'll hear something soon. I'm waiting as we speak/read/type for a call from the Human Resources office to explain the rather minuteness of my resume considering my age.

(i.e. Being 28 and having only 2 professional jobs in my life. Didn't really think they'd see SAHM to 3 boys for 7 yrs. as an accomplishment.)

Experienced: Yes.

Good Salary: No.

What do I have to show Experience: Lots of gray hair.

See, they should hire me!

Do you work well in high-stress situations:

Lady, I have 3 kids, all boys. As soon as the sun comes up, I'm living a high-stress situation.

Do you work well with others: Only if I don't have to talk about Batman and Legos for a few hours. And if they clean up their rooms cheerfully and when told.

Are you capable of multitasking:
*looks incredulously at interviewer, slaps the table, and laughs hysterically for 5 minutes straight*

Okay, I could have gone on, but it wasn't going to be pretty. But, you get the gist. If you're a mom, then you really get it!


However it works out, it's the Lord's Will.

But I'll be filling you in as I find out.

Have a totally rockin' Thursday
(or Friday, if you're reading in Aussie Land)

*waves to Corrie and Caz*